I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Randomize
