so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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