yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize
