Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
