Plan B is the new Plan A
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
