if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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