I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
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