everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
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