i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
