you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
