bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Randomize
