whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i permit you to call me
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Randomize
