I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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