Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
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