And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
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Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
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Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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