Got a toothbrush?
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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