hell yes lets make some ravioli
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize