I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
there was a trapeze. enough said
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize
