He asked to "fluff my boner.."
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
