Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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