I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
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