Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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