And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
