Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize