I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
