just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
please come you make the beer taste better
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
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So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
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Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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