K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Randomize
