He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
This house was built for laser tag.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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