i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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