I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
