smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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