im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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