I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
