K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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