I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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