You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
