I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize