just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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