She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
