Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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