oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Rumble strips road head = magical
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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