I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
