i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
my shit smells like andre
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
