Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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