So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
