Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
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