Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
