where am i from again
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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