I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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