My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
