What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
