So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Randomize
