my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
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