He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
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