how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
