you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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