If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
