I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
