Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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