I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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