at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
