Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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