Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
