it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
